Let me throw up a little.
In fact, I've been thinking about this for a long time.
I get along well with people, and some of them have told me that theyOften hit harder than othersTendencies.
Mr. C is kind and polite to A and B, but rude to me...Patterns like.
I will tell you about my experience and how I noticed such a tendency, and what I feel is the solution.
- I am the type of person who is easily hit hard by others.
- My actions when I realized that I was prone to being harsh.
- I'm the type of person who is easily hit hard by others is spiritual, you say! Because it doesn't matter.
I am the type of person who is easily hit hard by others.
As I told you at the beginning of this article, I have always been more harsh than others.
I recognized it as a pattern. But "misunderstanding?" Are you only being friendly to me?" What a thought....
Well, you certainly have a friendly face (?). and personality (although I've always wondered what a friendly face is).
Are you hitting only me hard? Stories of feeling "I'm sorry" (1) Cursing
This is about my friend A.
I had been classmates with A-kun since junior high school and we were very close.
I guess you could say we are best friends. I even felt that it was a good idea.
But sometimes I felt it.
That is, when A is with other friends and A is with me, the remarks are more harsh when I am with him.
If we are good friends, for example, we will say "tame" or "idiot" to each other if it is a normal joke. I understand that.
But at one home party, he started yelling abuse at me in front of everyone. It wasn't loud, but the tone was rather serious.
I've been to many playdates with Mr. A and the majority, including myself, and I've never seen him like that.
I stiffened, and for a moment, everyone around me was in an "eh..." mood.
At the time, I thought, "He's so close to me that he's going to show his true colors. (Eh)
Are you hitting me hard? Experience that felt like (2) A joke that is not funny
This is similar to the cursing I mentioned earlier, but this was done by another B.
He said something to Mr. B as if he was gouging my past wounds.
Mr. B may have been joking, and I don't think he thought it was important at all.
I don't think he even realized I was shocked because I didn't change my attitude much right after that.
He was still talking to me after that.
The reason why I am saying it is hard only for me is because many times I have been at the scene where Mr. B was interacting with others, as I was at the time of the experience (1) mentioned earlier.
"Mr. B never said anything like this to anyone else...?"
I didn't know all of Mr. B's personality, and I wondered if I was wrong about this too. So I pretended not to see this too.
(I've told you two stories that I remember clearly, but there are many more if they are vague or small.)
Why did you realize that I was prone to being harsh?
It is.Accumulated "discomfort" and "dislike"And my"The habit of comparing yourself to others."made me aware of this.
Discomfort and disgust
When discomfort builds up, it eventually turns into conviction.
That and disgust were also important signals.
- Is it because my self-esteem is low?"
- Am I just being sensitive to it?"
- Am I overthinking this?"
- No, no, it means you're open to me!"
- Am I wrong to think this way?"
I was like ahhh, lol.
But there is no right or wrong in my feeling this way.
I felt that way, so that's the truth for me.
Why do I feel so bad about this? When I began to trust my own sense of disgust, I found a few things here and there that came to mind from past experiences, and I knew that I felt disgusted every time.
If you miss that feeling, you will be immersed in such feelings again down the road.
We wanted to avoid that.
Tend to compare yourself with others
That and the fact that I have always had a tendency to compare myself to others.
"You're so nice to her, but you're so hard on me. It means that they will think like that.
I say this.Wouldn't it be nice if we didn't have to compare ourselves to others? You are what you are and people are what they are.I can hear some of you saying, "What's wrong with that?
You certainly have a point there. People are people and I am me.
But that idea is different from how you treat people who are rude to you.
Even people who live their lives not comparing themselves to others don't want to associate with people who are rude to them.
I have heard that people who have a habit of comparing themselves with others are actually proud in some aspects. I certainly cannot say that I have low pride.
But still, as before, I don't want to continue interacting with that person if I think they are disrespectful to me, even if they are proud.
I had my share of negatives, accepting the fact that I was prone to being hit hard.
Such disrespect has been here and there.I haven't resisted or said "don't talk like that" in any way.
I had never been aware of it, but I had turned a blind eye to it.
In the past, when I have thought, "This person is very hard on only me," I have
I never said, "Hey, I don't think you should behave that way," or anything like that.
In other words.You accepted it.
I even felt I was destined to be that way lol.
And, I don't know if they are aware of it, but the fact that I don't object is the result.It may have made the other party think that "even if I hit this person a little, there is no problem," "he won't talk back," or "he won't get angry.
I don't think they are intentionally trying to attack me. If they were like that, I wouldn't be interacting with them in the first place.
There was no way they could immediately notice my feelings and reactions either, and I should have made that clear to them.
Then the harshness of the other person toward me might have stopped there.
My actions when I realized that I was prone to being harsh.
I was aware that I was prone to being harshly criticized, so I took some actions. I would like to talk about the following.
First, I indicated my intention.
Isn't this normal? You may think, "I can't say it," but there are people like me who can't say it...! Sweat
Oh, I am not trying to justify myself by any means.
I am the one who was hit, so I am entitled to a proper reaction.
I used to be unsure of even my own feelings, thinking, "But what if I react in such a way that it becomes awkward," or "Am I mistaken?
If someone says something harsh, I say, "That's too much, isn't it?" I tried to give little reactions, such as, "I don't like that comment.
If that doesn't make you get along with the other person, then that's the end of the relationship.
I'm just going to say good-bye to the idea that it didn't suit me.
You can't change the other person, so you stop the relationship.
I would be willing to cut ties there unless it is someone with whom I want to continue to build a relationship.
It's difficult when it's a longtime friend or colleague, so this totally depends on the person.
For example, if it is only an online relationship, it is easier for you to block or fade away.
I sometimes had the feeling that it was a chance encounter, but I have many more chances in the future, and if it is not a business relationship, I want to live my life by interacting only with people who are right for me.
Sometimes at work, you have to interact with people you don't like; so...
I'm the type of person who is easily hit hard by others is spiritual, you say! Because it doesn't matter.
At times like this, I think, "It's because of my past that others are hitting me so hard!" Some people are inclined to be spiritual.
I used to google it, too... lol.
But that has nothing to do with spi.
Suppose, suppose, that it's karma or a past life, what then: ？？？？ It's karma, so what's the point? It's a past life, so what's the point? and accept it?
I absolutely hate that kind of thing, and what about me thinking like that? I think.
I think the key to changing one's current life is one's own thoughts and actions, not blaming something else.
I have shared with you my experience, my thoughts, and the actions I have taken.
I don't know if this will help anyone, but if you are feeling like I am and are hurting, you should take action.
Because if you want to change your life, you have to take action or solve the problem yourself.