I would like to share with you a love story I experienced when I was a student.
At the time, I loved the other person so much that I thought, "If I can go out with him, I can do anything.
But in reality, it's a story about how awkward love can be.
Unequal Love Experiences
I suddenly remember past relationships sometimes (though most of them are sad).
Confess to someone you like.
Back in my high school days. I met someone I liked.
I was always thinking about that person all the time, and I was convinced, "Oh, I like that person," so I took the plunge and confessed my feelings to him.
I think I confessed over the phone.
He was quite surprised? After a short silence, he was quite surprised?
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・ okay."
He said.
Now that I think about it, it's this silence that says it all, doesn't it?
There was a silence, and I wondered, "Oh, is it okay? Am I not good enough?" I was anxious, but then he said, "Okay.I'm just so happy, so happy...Yes, I was too happy.
I immediately fantasized about what was to come, and I was gutted in my heart.
I'm sure I had a sickening grin on my face as I thought about our upcoming date, going back to school together...mmmm....
He told me not to tell anyone that we were dating.
butImmediately after that he said a few words.
But don't tell anyone about this."
・・・・?
I'm sorry, I don't want to make a fuss about the guys in our club or whatever, is that okay?"
I thought that not telling everyone meant that he didn't want people to know that he was dating me, or that he would be embarrassed with me.
I certainly did not have confidence in my face, and I thought it was only natural that I should be told that.
(Although now that I think about it, I think he's the one who said that...)
Besides, I was more than happy to go out with him, so I accepted the "on condition that I don't tell anyone".
Love is blind: ！！！！！
Start dating. But gradually it becomes suffocating.
I faithfully kept that "don't tell anyone" promise from him.
I really wanted to go back to school together, talk in the hallway once in a while, and be open about it, but I tried to meet secretly so that everyone would not find out.
I really wanted it to be publicized to everyone, but I tried to think "I'm happy just to be in a relationship" and "don't get caught" and "don't get caught" were always in my mind.
Oh, no, am I being mendacious?
I had a lot of patience, but I was more than happy to be in a relationship - at the time.
Oh...Love is blind ！！！！ W!
It was a bit of a thrill for us to be dating in the shadows. I also thought that we were dating in the shadows.
But, you know, those feelings.It doesn't last long, does it?
graduallyThe stress you're enduring is getting bigger and bigger, and you're finding it harder and harder to breathe.I felt like a tragic heroine if I went any further.
Like, poor me. (No, you no longer do.)
Whenever we met, it was always behind the trees behind the tennis courts, and we went on dates only once or twice in our six months together. During the dates and meals, he was always glancing around and paying attention to his surroundings.
I knew you didn't want to be seen with me."My self-confidence was also rapidly diminishing.
I have low self-esteem, and my self-esteem has sunk further into the abyss.
The longer I continued to date him, the less and less confident I became in myself.
Sorry, that was pretty mensch.
It was stressful and not fun anymore, so we broke up.
And then I ran out of patience and ended upI can't do it anymore.And then we parted ways.
The genuine feelings of love I initially had for him had flown away under the stress of "hiding the fact that we were dating".
If I had said earlier, "I hate hiding!" I don't know if the result would have been different if I had said that, but I was so sick of dating that it no longer mattered.
Finally, he told me, "Don't tell anyone we're dating."
I will leave you with what I would have learned from this experience, somewhat frustratingly and forcibly.
1. determined to be a good woman who people would want to introduce to others
I don't know what he was thinking when he said, "Don't tell anyone.
But I probably thought, "I'm not pretty enough, so people don't want to know about it," so after we broke up, I became insanely frustrated and thought, "I'll be a good woman!" I thought strongly about it.
It may be a small step, but since then I have been studying makeup, fashion, and other ways to be pretty.
2. romance isIf it's unequal, it won't last long.
At the time, I liked him and thought it was important to put his feelings first.
But this is...It's not fair at all.Super unequal
I can't say that fair is always better in a relationship, but I thought that a relationship like this one, in which our patience is exhausted, would not last long.
If I put him first because I love him, my patience will explode one day.
That's right.
I learned to dress up after that, trying to be a very nice woman...
I also became more aggressive in my love life.
The kind of woman who would suddenly hand you a piece of paper with her contact information on it.I've also become a...
