There is no need to force yourself to connect with others. A story about realizing that bound relationships only make you unhappy.

Relationship breakups. You hear it all the time.

I was thinking that decluttering can be done not only with things but also with relationships. Well, it's like cutting off the relationship with others, isn't it?

I have done this many times, and it has helped me feel better and has not interfered with my life. I think everyone has their own way of feeling differently.

I will share my thoughts on this issue.

If it's unnecessary for you, you don't want the relationship.

When you hear the word "decluttering," you may imagine just throwing away what you don't need in your room.
Relationships can also be severed.

I have discarded. Relationships that are unnecessary for me. Relationships that feel like a burden.

When I first arrived in Tokyo, I did not have many friends in Tokyo, so I desperately went to drinking parties and exchanged contact information to expand my circle of friends.

Anyway, I wanted to connect with anyone, so I always jumped into a circle of people.

There were many people I met during that time who were respectable, crazy interesting, and inspiring.

That was very gratifying.

I am grateful that you met me back then. Truly.

But on the other hand, I also met people who didn't care.

Not everyone you meet is a "I'm glad I met you!" for you. I was glad to have met them all.

But at the time, I wasI want to connect with whatever people I meet because I have met them.I thought strongly about it.

There were unimportant contacts, drinks, and so on.

Even if I thought "boring..." or had a suffocating partner or something, I would meet with them in vain and in a mysterious way.

Since we had just met, it was a chance encounter. What a mysterious thought...

But after I started decluttering things, I decided to take this opportunity to get rid of unnecessary things in my relationships as well. Let go of strange ties.

I'm calling it severing a relationship, but it sounds like a very conscious thing to do...

Relationships are only meaningful if they are mutually positive.

I know this kind of thing gives a bad image.
Relationships.I think it is meaningless unless it is mutually beneficial.

When I say "plus," I mean, for example.

• We have so much fun together!"
• I'm thrilled to meet this man."
• I learn a lot from listening to this guy."
• It's inspiring."
• It's so different from my values that it's novel."

A relationship that I think is a good idea.

On the contrary, the negative is

• It's so boring to be with you."
• He's just complaining.
• It's kind of stressful."

or a relationship that simply has nothing to gain for the other person and only takes up their time.

So I think the best form is for both parties to benefit each other as much as possible. Well, that is quite an idealistic view.

If they feel that way about me, it is better for them to break off the relationship with me, and if I feel negatively about them, it is better for me to break it off.

If we feel good with each other, it must be good. I think this is true in love as well as in family. Even if you are related by blood or marriage

What doesn't fit, doesn't fit.

I felt so much better after severing relationships.

And here's the result.
Because I've cut off my relationships (I've distanced myself from them), I'm no longer nervous, and of course I don't have to think about anything else.

And now I don't hear from them at all.

However, I was able to make a clear cut decision this time, but I am sure that there are some people who cannot make such a decision.

It's not like I'm going to lose friends. And I don't want to feel like I'm losing friends. It's bad for the other person.And.
I understand how you feel.

But once I did it, it was a lot easier than I thought it would be, and I just did things like not contacting the person or lightly letting it go when they asked me out.

That allowed us to break off contact and I have no regrets.

As long as I can disconnect and connect with the people I really care about, that's all that matters.

I'll tell you why I was able to break off my relationship with Basa.
I am personally convinced of this, because I believe that the people I need (the people I am looking for) will always meet in my life, as they are my friends.

And it's actually like that.

So if I feel that a relationship is unnecessary, I think it is okay to cut it off. I believe that if I do that, I will be able to build relationships that suit me again, and that is what I am doing.

summary

If you feel you are clinging to relationships and don't need them in your life, I recommend disconnecting.

It really makes you feel better.

Don't cheat and try to gradually distance yourself according to your own mood.